We had one more day in Pennsylvania after my day trip to New York City. We mostly spent it packing and saying our good bye's. It was going to be a long trip back home. G also wanted to make a trip to the cemetery; it’s been a while.
These graves were the first ones I saw as I got out of the car and the first thought that crossed my mind was Is this what ‘forgotten’ looks like? It was clear that no one had visited these graves in a very long time.
What happened to their loved ones? Did they move far away? Were they even still alive? Or are these people who cherish memories of their loved ones in their hearts wherever they go?
It made me think about my own life and the memories that I’m creating every day; the friendships that I have, the impact that I’m making on others and the quality of living vs. the quantity. Do I live in such a way that, when I’m gone, others notice it, or is it all just gone like dust blown in the wind?
I remembered another time when I asked myself this? I’ve lived on my own for many years. One time I fell ill and the doctor booked me off sick from work for almost a week. I had made my trip to the doctor’s office, to the pharmacy to fill my script, to the grocery store to be sure that I have meals with my medication and vice versa, and then home to rest and nurse myself back to health.
After the second day my landlady noticed that there had been no movement at my little cottage and she came over to see if I was still alright. Sleeping most of the two days away, I didn’t hear her knock on the door and she didn’t stop there. She was seriously concerned. My bedroom windows are always open for some fresh air and so she came around and pulled the curtain away, looking for me. I remember thinking how much it meant to me that she noticed. She told me that she hadn’t seen me about like I usually am and when she noticed no movement and didn’t hear a peep, she was worried if anything was the matter.
After establishing what was up she started bringing me a cooked meal every day till I was better again. I was so blessed by that. It is rather awful to be making three meals a day when you’re feeling like poop, but the medication clearly says Take three times a day with meals. I simply don’t see the sense in being a smart ass. I’ve never forgotten her kind gesture when I really needed it!
These forgotten tomb stones reminded me again just how important it is to make life matter while you’re alive. Personally, I’d rather have quality in life instead of someone tenderly visiting my grave after I’m gone.
I don’t want to live my life in such a way that, if something had to happen to me, someone only finds my body in my home ten days later and no one suspected a thing. I want to live in such a way, and have special people who care in such a way that, if I was missing, they’d know I was gone. And if I was gone, they’d have something to remember about me – something that makes them laugh and not cry. That way I don’t think I’ll mind if anyone visit my grave or not. I won’t be there anyway.
How about you? Do you live in such a way that people will notice when you’re gone? Come on then! Reach out and be a friend, make a friend, be kind, be funny, be supportive… Live while you’re alive. Make memories!