Day 4: A blogger friend I've known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is...
First off, let me just clarify that this is a hypothetical question for the sake of the honesty dare.
This is such an interesting topic. When I first read about it on Happy Isn't Always A Fairy Tale I thought that it was a real scenario and it really kicked my brain into overdrive.
I think my reaction would be Oh well...
I don't think I have more than three to five people in my life that I've known for more than five years (excluding family), and that I'm still in contact with. So I doubt if I would have been reading someone's blog (that I've never met) for five years.
Let's say she's been blogging anonymously for five years and I've obviously been connecting with her because she knew about me in order to be honest with me. Did she read/visit my blog too? If it was a one sided fan club I would not have stuck around for five years. And if she did visit my blog and she left comments, did she fake those too? I mean, she couldn't fantasize on my blog (and let's assume that I was honest), did she also write fantasy comments? Then again, I have often found people to be quite shallow in their comments, so I don't put that much weight on it. It is not as if people are honestly pouring out their hearts - more like talking about the weather. Those kind of relationships don't exactly rock my boat. As much as I enjoy interacting with people online, I long for deeper relationships in real life, and you don't find those online. Or perhaps I've just not had the best blogging experiences.
This cartoon says a lot about online relationships and I tend to chuckle, nodding my head in agreement - even though I realize that it is not true for everyone, everywhere, but neither can the truth of it be denied:
|"You're a model? Cool! I'm a Chippendale's dancer. I also race speed boats. What your sign?"|
If I haven't thought about this cartoon in a while, I surely would have after hearing the news from my "friend".
When I share my thoughts I say what I really mean, or else I don't say it, but faking it is not my niche. However, if 'honest' is not relevant, helpful or necessary - and it is not pretty - then I rather don't say it. That's me. We have to leave room for others to also choose for themselves.
I have to admit, there are times when I really don't want to know other people's 'honest', thank you very much. Sometimes I choose to just smile and wave from the river bank as it floats on by. Not everything needs to be an issue in my life - or my issue. If I don't like what you write on your blog, or I get the feeling that you are pretentious, I can always choose to simply not read it, instead of feeling betrayed or cheesed off for six months.
The ugly truth is that people lie - whether online or to your face - and some do it without blinking an eye. The secret is to not let what others choose control your happiness.
If I considered my friend's fantasies to make for good reading I might even marvel at her imagination and keep on reading, or it might drop to the bottom of my priority list and eventually frizzle out completely.
Heck, life happens.