Tuesday, April 10, 2012

30 Days Honesty Blogging Dare - Day 10

This 30 Days Honesty Blogging dare is hosted by Tom Baker. Pop on over and check out his blog, including a list of the other participants in this fun - and sometimes challenging - dare.

It's been a few days since I've last been honest, but I'm grateful to be able to catch up over the weekend. Work hours have been so hectic, and by the time I do get home at night, I have just enough energy left to eat, have a bath and drift off into unconsciousness before it starts all over again the next morning ~ forget about being creative. But it is weekend now, so without further delay I present to you, ladies and gentlemen...

Day 10: The last time I snooped into something I wasn't supposed to (like a medicine cabinet in a friend's bathroom), I found...

I've been thinking about this question for a few days, so I decided to start by checking the meaning of the word snoop to begin with, and it is defined as:
Snoop ~ pry (to pry into other people's business or affairs, especially surreptitiously) ~ noun ~ somebody who pries into other people's lives / a surreptitious investigation of somebody's private life or property.
OK, so what does surreptitious mean? That sounds like an important part of the definition...
Surreptitious ~ trying to avoid being noticed (done in a concealed or underhand way to escape notice, especially disapproval.)
I think it is safe to say that my snooping has never remained unnoticed. What I discovered could simply not be ignored, and I couldn't act on it without selling myself out, but then again, some things are worth getting into trouble for, especially if the longer term consequences are a lot worse to deal with ~ short term suffering for long term benefits, I guess I could say.

I have to also add that I have great respect for people's privacy, but I feel equally strong about trusting my gut, and trusting my gut has mostly been what drove me to snoop. Sometimes people version of 'honest' is just too far from the truth.

Many years ago I was in love with this guy - I think one can say it was a bit of a long distance relationship - he lived about an hour and half's drive away. I know that so well because - fool that I was - I did all the driving - I did most of everything. (The stupid things we do when we are young. Even worse when we're still doing it when we're older...) Anyway, I drove after him weekend after weekend so that we could spend time together, but before long I started feeling that I had become just another piece of furniture in the room - he seemed to have become increasingly 'absent' - and I started suspecting that he was perhaps seeing someone else. 

I confronted him, but let's just say that his explanation was one of the most ridiculous I've ever heard. Feeling rather upset I thought to distract myself by watching a movie - oh, well, whatever was in the machine would suffice, I thought. He came in the room and said that I shouldn't bother; the machine wasn't working. Sure, no problem, I thought, but let's just say I didn't believe him... again. It started playing perfectly just as he walked in the door a second time saying, "I told you it is bro..."

Turns out it was pornography. I guess he was seeing someone else... Not working, my A*S! 

That was the last I ever saw of him (except for a few years later, when he turned out being the manager of the resort restaurant where our company held our year-end function... OOPS!)

Another time I had just decided to take another chance on love and my man was away on a business trip for a few days. He asked if I'd be so kind to house sit for him while he was gone. Sure, love, anything for you :) He had satellite television - cool! He said that if I wanted to watch some movies while I was at it, I was welcome. Make yourself at home, sweetie. Everything went well until I thought of a Bible verse, and really wanted to look it up and see exactly what it said. I looked in - what I thought was a very obvious place - the nightstand drawer. Instead of a Bible, I found magazines... pornographic magazines :( Things were never the same after that. 

The last time I snooped someone had told me that the guy I was seeing was not all that he pretended to be - nothing more - no explanation or details. At first I couldn't decide whether the person was jealous and trying to ruin my happiness or whether they were sincerely trying to warn me to wake up and smell the roses. I simply couldn't shake it that something was up... 

One day he was out and had left his phone behind. Gosh! the guilt! and the fear of what if he comes back at just the wrong moment?! You know how Murphy's law operates. That day I discovered who he really was; I discovered that he was a man who could lie to my face without blinking an eye; I discovered hugs and kisses text messages between him and girlfriend no. 3 of 4 that he had cheated on me with during our short lived "romance". Eventually it all died a painful death when he text me that he rather wanted to be alone... (with girlfriend no. 4... I found out a week later, and not from him...)

I should really learn to snoop before getting into relationships, huh?

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